“but AO3 *wants* writers on their platform, writers are providing a service for them, that’s how they get content.”
no, they are PROVIDING you a platform. for your content. as a service to you.
please, please, please learn how the internet works.
the companies that WANT you on the platform are the companies that are SELLING YOU TO ADVERTISERS.
*Facebook* wants you on their platform. *Tumblr* wants you on their platform. *FF.net* wants you on their platform. You are Facebook’s product. Facebook is not a service to you. It is an incentive for you to give them eyes and data to sell. And the second your eyes and data stop being profitable they will toss you under the bus.
That’s why fans made AO3. So we had a space that was ours, that wasn’t profiting off of us, so we wouldn’t get sold out.
Dr Seuss: ‘Maybe Christmas,’ he thought, ‘doesn’t come from a store. Maybe Christmas … perhaps … means a little bit more!’
Illumination:
Then they got an idea! An awful idea!
THE BRANDS GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA! All the marketers thought, “Why should tickets suffice? With the Grinch selling knick-knacks, why, we’ll be paid twice!”
Forget all the morals! There’s cash to be made. From frosting to forklifts to Grinch Gatorade! Just slap his face on there and tint it with green And prepare for profits, yes, profits obscene!
From a seasonal, festival holiday grump, The Grinch had been played for a capital chump. “No more! Won’t you forget these trinkets?” he pleads. “Christmas isn’t junk! It’s your bonds and your deeds.”
For a moment, they paused. Was there more to this day Than products and placements and big bonus pay? The PR men sniffed and they shrugged and they sighed. Then they threw him some cash and they went back inside.
I have this headcannon that Sasuke can substitute his missing arm with snakes. (Even though I know that by the time he lost his arm, Itachi had removed Orochimaru from Sasuke so he probably can’t produce snakes from his body, but hey just give me creative license on this one okay??)
I have plans to make this into a full on illustration.
Thinking about how Tobirama went into such detail about the “Uchiha Curse”, I had a thought: what if he intended the Uchiha to be the last line of defense for the village?
That seems like an obvious statement – he had assigned them as the police inside Konoha, of course they would defend the village if anyone got that far. But I think the thought behind it was more complicated than that. Tobirama basically said he’d given them a job they were suited to when pressed about it. The Uchiha can copy any jutsu, have massive chakra and can predict an enemies movements. This makes them excellent shinobi all-around, but does indeed make them specially suited to policing and apprehending unruly ninja. But Tobirama didn’t mention this anywhere in his explanation – he kept bringing up the Curse.
The Curse of Hatred: Uchiha suppressing intense emotions to the point that when they are released (usually in times of great turmoil) they develop the sharingan (if they don’t have it, they get it, if they have it it evolves) and their power increases exponentially, short and long-term. With the unfortunate side effect of often making them tend to lean toward rabidly insane. See: Madara, Obito, Sasuke.
Tobirama has studied this over his entire life. Seen first-hand as the sharingan has evolved on the battlefield in enemies he’s fought, or watched it bloom in the eyes of the survivors as they glare and retreat. He watched Madara’s steady decent into a madman that abandoned his village as his eyes grew more and more powerful – reduced from the kind, family oriented man Hashirama first met to a deluded lunatic who would attack and torture members of his own clan in his unquenchable hate. All because his beloved brother Izuna was killed. In this light, every single Uchiha is a ticking time-bomb.
Keeping them in the village put them in an environment where they
weren’t being stressed out so much and alleviated this danger. Canon (or at least word-of-god)
says there weren’t a lot of Uchiha with the sharingan at the time of the
massacre, which supports this. Certainly Tobirama would have seen the Uchiha safe inside Konoha, using their strengths to maintain order better than anyone else, and noted the uptick in them keeping their sanity intact. Making their in-village position official was logical. The Uchiha themselves were safer and happier overall, and everyone was safer from them.
But that Curse would have also been a tempting contingency.
Any enemy of the village who made it to the village would be confronted by an entire clan of fire-breathing berserkers where they expected competent, but pampered policemen.
By Tobirama’s reign alone, it would have been an entire generation since the Uchiha were on the battlefield properly. Sure, there would be one or two out on teams, but not as a large group. Not as brothers and fathers, and sisters and mothers, and cousins and uncles side by side as an army, red eyes ever-watching, ever evolving as their kin died beside them. Probably no one had killed an Uchiha loved one and lived to tell about the resulting carnage in decades. No one would have been wary of the instant backlash anymore. See: Obito. The shinobi that cut Kakashi’s eye was entirely unwary of Obito and died quickly for it. Tobirama could even have used the newly formed Anbu to wipe out information about the Uchiha outside the village specifically to cause enemies to be unwary when killing an Uchiha’s loved one. There probably aren’t any surviving records in enemy hands about nearby Uchiha suddenly turning savage and twice as strong if you killed one of them, or how sometimes one would start screaming as the body fell and take a suicide run into the nearest group of enemies and decimate dozens before they were brought down.
I think the Uchiha Curse of Hatred wasn’t something Tobirama could get rid of and knew it, but it was something he could direct and use. And did.
If anyone got past the vanguard and defenses comprised of the Senju and other assorted clans of Konoha, they would be expecting weaker shinobi, or, at-best, think they understood how the sharingan worked (copies jutsu and tracks movement – lol, easy) and rush in half-cocked. And start killing people. And the Uchiha would inevitably rise like the many heads of the Hydra – cut one down and another twice as strong and three times as vicious is coming at you from the left.
I think Tobirama intended the Uchiha to be an integrated part of the village. They supposed to love it and the people in it deeply.
Recall: Tobirama expressed surprise and said he couldn’t believe the clan was on the brink of extinction when he was told Sasuke was the last. He does mention concern about Madara’s adherents within the clan, but clearly the clan as a whole was meant to be safe and stable in the village.
His failure was in thinking too much about the system he was developing and not enough about the people. How people resenting the police and how the logic of putting the clan in charge of the prison, beside the prison would isolate them socially and physically, and (most importantly), how his successors would interpret his warnings and intentions. Danzo (and Hiruzen) seem to have listened too closely to Tobiramas words about the strength and danger of the Uchiha and not enough on their suitability as protectors. Penning them into an even more remote district post-Kyuubi and cutting them off from everyone else would have messed that plan for the Curse up; effectively reversing the founding of the village for the Uchiha.
At their end, the Uchiha’s love was turned inward to themselves; exactly as it had been before.
Большой секрет — знает весь свет. Big secret—the whole world knows.
Борода не делает философом. A beard doesn’t make a philosopher.
В темноте все кошки серы. All cats are gray in the dark.
В Ту́лу со свои́м самова́ром не е́здят. No one brings a samovar to Tula. (Tula is famous as the city where samovars were manufactured. This is the equivalent of “Don’t bring coal to Newcastle.”)
Волко́в боя́ться — в лес не ходи́ть. If you’re afraid of wolves, don’t go to the woods.
Говорить правду — потерять дружбу. Tell the truth—lose friends.
Доверя́й, но проверя́й. Trust, but verify.
Долг платежо́м кра́сен. Debt is beautiful once it’s repaid.
Доно́счику — пе́рвый кнут. The informer is whipped first.
Друг познаётся в беде́. You get to know your friend in trouble. (A friend in need is a friend indeed.)
Дру́жба дру́жбой, а де́нежкам счёт. Friendship is friendship, but count money.
Знать всё — значит не знать ничего. To know everything is to know nothing.
На чужо́м го́ре сча́стья не постро́ишь. One can’t build happiness upon another’s grief.
Назва́лся гру́здем — полеза́й в ку́зов. If you called yourself a mushroom—get in the basket. (Sort of like, “don’t just talk the talk—walk the walk.”)
Не ошиба́ется тот, кто ничего́ не де́лает. He that does nothing makes no mistakes.
NB: any translation mistakes are mine
USEFUL!!!
Very Important Addition, my favorite
Любовь не картошка, не выбросишь в окошко. LOVE IS NOT A POTATO YOU CANNOT THROW IT OUT A WINDOW (that is, love is not a small thing that is easy to get rid of)
!!!!!!!!!!!
For about TWENTY YEARS I have been wondering why, in the English-translated Chekhov play I read because it was on the summer reading list for my AP English class, someone says with no particularly enlightening context, “Death is not a potato.”
BUT THAT’S WHY, ISN’T IT. HE’S REFERENCING THAT PROVERB. LOVE IS NOT A POTATO; DEATH IS NOT A POTATO.