Tag: weather

scarylullabies:

robotmango:

awed-frog:

robotmango:

it’s ninety-nine degrees outside, four fuck-thousand percent humidity, and my husband was like, “i’m gonna go for a bike ride.” and i was like “why. no. why. don’t put us on the news like that. local fool collapses on unnecessary journey. don’t do it.” so he says he doesn’t want to “hide in the house” because the sun is shining. bruh. honeybruh. “the sun is shining” does not cover it. its hot outside. its motherfucking hot as fuck outside. our outdoor plants have been crying into their hands all week. whole cars are melting into the sewer. our fucking patio umbrella developed sentience to ask me for lemonade this morning

@robotmango, you need to work for the weather forecast – this was both hilarious and so vivid it made me stand up and get some iced tea.

this is a great idea, thank you. here goes. my audition tape for the weather channel. dearly beloved. we are gathered here today to have a fucking funeral for the outdoors. it had a good run, with all its creeks and clouds and shit. pretty great. now it’s ten-thirty at night but still ninety-two asshole-sweating degrees and humid as fuck. everything is hot and slimy, like being a “borrower” that got trapped inside a bottle of shampoo and then accidentally microwaved. you can see on my doppler radar that nothing is moving around out there because everything is probably dead. the only alive thing is the mosquito currently trying to drill a hole in my leg. no surprise that all the shitbag mosquitos are fine, since the thermostat of hell is always at the devil’s preferred temperature. this forecast has gotten away from me a little, but in conclusion fuck the sun

I think I’ve reblogged this before, but “the thermostat of hell is always at the devil’s preferred temperature” is fucking poetry

spaceplasma:

Dirty thunderstorms

A dirty thunderstorm (also, Volcanic lightning) is a weather phenomenon that occurs when lightning is produced in a volcanic plume. A study in the journal Science indicated that electrical charges are generated when rock fragments, ash, and ice particles in a volcanic plume collide and produce static charges, just as ice particles collide in regular thunderstorms. 

Source: spaceplasma

iexisttherefore:

lunahorizon:

nannaspritessaggingbreasts:

wellmanicuredman:

douboolejoeseven:

ghostbuttpilgrim:

weeaboo-chan:

oneeighth:

LISTEN UP FUCKERS!

URGENT: East Coast / Northeast / Midwest US
All the forecast models are falling into agreement that by Monday/Tuesday Sandy will swing back into the coast, likely somewhere between MA and NC. Affected areas will likely be anywhere from Maine down to the Carolinas, and as far west as Illinois. Northern areas are most likely to experience storm surges; southern areas be prepared for snow… lots of it. Virginia, West Virginia, Ohio, and Pennsylvania in particular should be ready for a full day of heavy snowfall.

Best case scenario looks like is this storm will be another Irene.
Worst case, another 1991 “Perfect Storm.” NWS has already dubbed this the “Frankenstorm.”
Get your ass prepared now!

– Fill your car’s gas tank now; maybe get an extra can.
– Prepare for widespread and possibly extended power outages. Get heaters or generators ready.
– If you have any trees/limbs that are in danger of falling onto your house, you may wish to remove them now.
– Make arrangements for friends and relatives who cannot prepare for themselves.
– Put away all your patio furniture— Summer’s Over, Bitch!
– Get a motherfucking weather radio.
– Reassess any travel plans for Monday through to the end of the week. Stock up on booze instead.
– Sorry, Halloween’s off again this year. Stock up on booze instead.
– Take advantage of early voting. They’re not going to postpone the election.

Signal boost this wherever you can. Obvs don’t want people to panic as the models won’t reveal the final scenario until Sandy passes through Cuba and takes its final eastward shift before getting sucked into the Nor’easter dropping from Canada. But better to be prepared now before the inevitable run on supplies begins.

wow shit

boosting for my east coast friends

snow???
what in the actual fuck
at least the weekend should be fine, right??? 

Hey looks, it’s what I was just talking about.

daaaamn as far west as illinois? crazy

buT I’M IN ILLINOIS

I’m right on the coast where it’s hitting hardest

if I don’t post for a month I’m dead

Sob I’m in VA. But we’re used to this shit.

All I can think of is damn look at that pressure gradient. Obviously I don’t look at hurricane pressure maps very often.

Also alert to the east coast, not pretty weather coming your way this Halloween! (Again)

Source: oneeighth