ok kids, gather round for another episode of auntie vrabia’s academic advice.
say you’re working on a paper and you badly need this one article. but it’s not in any of the databases your library gives you access to. and you can’t find it on google. or, well, actually you can find it on google, but it directs you to this:
listen. it’s not just you. the mythical affluent academic who sees this and immediately thinks to themselves ‘yeah man time to pony up’ does not exist. no one any of us knows gets their articles this way.
but you still need that article, right? so what do you do? here’s two solutions to this capitalist problem you never asked for:
1. do you just need some definition, argument, specific bit of data or empirical result from that article? find another source you do have access to that cites it and then put this in your paper: ‘smith et al. (as cited in jones, 2015) argue that this business model is bullshit and a grand total of zero money is being made by publishers through this channel’. then in your references include jones (2015) and omit smith et al. i don’t recommend citing smith et al. like you’re pretending you’ve actually read their stuff because you don’t know what else is in there, so just play it safe. citing things this way when you can’t access the original source for whatever reason (including a fucking paywall) is perfectly acceptable and you won’t fail your class or be accused of plagiarism for doing it.
2. is it vitally important that you read the whole article from start to finish? EMAIL THE AUTHOR. after you’ve made super sure it’s really not available anywhere, contact them and ask for a copy. write a nice (short!) email along these lines:
dear [academic title][name],
i am a [student] at [university], currently working on a paper about [topic]. reading your article [title] would really help me develop my argument about [specific thing from their article] unfortunately it’s not available for access through our library services at the moment, so i was wondering if you would be willing to send me a copy for reference purposes. thank you.
best regards, [your name]
there is no guarantee that this will work, or that they’ll even read your email (increase your chances by an estimated 37% by using your university email and putting ‘question about your article [title]’ in the subject line, we read that shit)
BUT. there’s actually a pretty good chance that it will work, and here’s why: if that $40+ article sells one copy on the publisher’s page, the authors don’t see a single solitary dime from it. not from one sale. not from 5,000 sales. we make nothing off our academic publications. so they’re not going to reply to you with ‘sorry kid, go buy my article, i get 20% royalties and it contributes to my livelihood’. plus, most of us really hate the idea of our articles being stuck behind paywalls instead of circulating and getting cited. contact the author. they know their articles’ copyright situation and usually if they give you express permission to cite them, even from stuff like drafts or working papers, you’re safe to do so.
a polite (short!!) email to an academic goes a long way. and even if you think this might not work, it still gives you a better shot at getting what you need than just sitting in the library and understandably crying into your hands.
adding to this second point: Search the author name in academia.edu or researchgate (or if they list an institution, check there). It is increasingly common, and in some cases REQUIRED under funding, to make the article publicly available in some place, usually the institutional or discipline repository. It may not be the nicely laid out and formatted version, but it’s the same content.
Historical Fanfic No One Asked For: Blue Coat Red Coat
Steve found his mark in the barn.
He
held his wounded belly, chest rising and falling. A wounded, wild animal. He
looked up at Steve with all the defiance a dying man could muster. Steve held
his bayonet at the ready. He should’ve shot. The man was a rebel, a traitor to
the king. But that look in those steel eyes– they spoke of desperation, of a
life suppressed and denied freedom.
Steve wasn’t daft. In those eyes, Steve saw himself, clear and free of England’s patriotism. He wore the colors of oppression, the symbol of a king who let others die in his stead, he grew up reciting prayers altered to fit a king angered by the Catholic Church. He was a lie, and all it took was that flash, unfiltered, raw and so very clear in the blue coat’s gaze. So Steve lowered his bayonet, dropped
to his knees and pulled out his bandages.
The man flinched away, but his throat betrayed him with mangled
whines of pain. He let Steve undo the buttons on his jacket and rip open is cotton shirt. The wound glistened in the barn. Orange flames from Steve’s
lantern painted the man’s chest in wild flashes of color. Steve pulled out a
flask of water, cleaning the wound. He’d need ale to prevent infection, but
Steve couldn’t move him like this.
“W-why? So you c-can take me prisoner? Torture me for
information?” The man spit in Steve’s face. “Fuck you.”
“No.” Steve wiped the saliva off his cheek. “Because fuck
the king. That’s why.”
The man’s eyes rounded, his sharp gaze was less wolf and more
human. His skin even warmed as he relaxed against the hay.
“Those’re traitor’s words,” he said before coughing. “You’re a captain.” He pointed to the gorget over Steve’s sternum.
“Yeah well, maybe I’ve seen enough people die for a man who’s
too scared to fight his own battles.”
The man tried to laugh, but it came out garbled and wet. He
rested his head back, adam’s apple bobbing. “Welcome to the rebellion, red
coat.”
“What’s your name, blue coat?”
The man flashed a smile, his canines glinting in the lantern light.
With a wince, he sat up more, holding the bandages where Steve packed the
wound. “Get me outta here alive, and I’ll think about telling you.”
if someone does the “fine, you’re right, i’m clearly a terrible person, i’m satan, i’m the worst person alive, i should just die” thing in response to criticism of their harmful behavior, they are trying to manipulate ppl and flip the situation around so that they look like a victim
stop tolerating this in 2k17 tbh. like really and truly, if you or your friend thinks this is okay pls call the hotline on the bottom of the screen and learn how to take responsibility for your bad behavior
The bad thing is I do this on a regular basis. Not because I want to manipulate people, but because that’s actually how I feel. I’m bad at receiving concrit. I can’t say that everyone who reacts this way feels the same as I do, but…not every case is like that.
have you considered that, regardless of your intentions, reacting in such an exaggerated way would make it very difficult for anyone to criticize you or tell you that you’re harming people with your behavior? i’m not interested in searching out people’s motives, i don’t really care why someone does or says manipulative things. being unable or unwilling to simply apologize and not make it about themselves is a solid indicator that a person is not interested in being held accountable for their bad behavior, and people, especially the injured parties in question, shouldn’t have to tolerate it.
take responsibility for your bad behavior 2k17 tbh
Okay, life lesson time.
When I was in my late teens and early 20s, I kept getting involved with people who would say, “Oh, I’m a bad person” any time I brought up ANYTHING that was the least bit of a disagreement.
Like, “Please don’t leave my X on the floor” would get, “Oh, I’m a horrible person!”
HERE’S WHY THIS IS A HUGELY PROBLEMATIC BEHAVIOR, and if you think I”m calling you out and you think you’re about to shut down, take a breath, remember that this is about learning, and keep reading.
What is important is what happened after. My boyfriend might say, “Oh, I’m just an awful boyfriend” and instead of him acknowledging the BEHAVIOR and working on fixing it, he’d get me trying to buck him up for the next half hour, telling him he was a good person. The behavior that started it all would not change.
Well, things led to things and I went back home to live for a while, and found that the same exact thing was happening… with my mother.
And then I learned about pattern arguments. Pattern arguments are the ones where you keep having the same nonproductive argument over and over again. They don’t all follow this pattern, but this is a really common one.
The trick?
BREAK THE PATTERN
First you have to know what the pattern is. In this case: 1. Grievance 2. Self deprecation 3. Ego stroking
So, with my mother, we started in on one of these, and she said, “I guess I’m just a terrible mother.”
And instead of reassuring her, instead of derailing the issue and letting it go… I said, “When you say that, it makes me wonder how terrible a daughter I could be that you would think you were a bad mother. We have this conversation this way over and over, and the problem that I have always gets pushed aside in favor of trying to make you feel better. When you’re willing to have a real conversation about this, I’m happy to talk to you, but I’m bored with this argument, so I’ll see you later if you want to really talk.” And I left the room.
Now, my mom is a reasonably self-aware person, and does a lot of hard emotional work, and so she got it, very quickly. 10 minutes later she came out and found me, and we had a real conversation about whatever the hell the issue really was, and we have literally NEVER had that particular pattern argument again in 23 years.
Boyfriend came to visit. I was upset about something, he started in on the “I’m just a shitty boyfriend” thing… and my response?
“Yep. You are.”
His jaw dropped. He blinked.
And I said, “Look, that’s what you do. You say shit like that and it means you don’t have to change your behavior, and I’m tired of the pattern we have where I tell you something isn’t working for me, you tell me you’re terrible, and I spend half an hour making you feel better. I’m tired of it and I”m not doing it anymore. If you’re willing to have an actual conversation about this, and not just the same old argument, I’m game. But this thing we do where you talk yourself down and I butter you up? Is boring. And I’m over it.”
We also did not have that argument again. (The relationship finally ended for real a while after, but it ended in a grown-up way, and not with a ridiculous meaningless fight.)
When you knock yourself down, the gut instinct for the people around you is to pick you up. But that means you’re not pulling your weight in the relationship. You’re making them do the work and you’re not actually hearing them.
So that brings us to another point:
How to deal with criticism
Okay, so if you’re not going to knock yourself down when someone says something negative about you, what DO you do? We don’t actually train people to take criticism well. But it is an art and a skill and NECESSARY to finding emotional stability in the face of a critical world.
I see it as a flow chart, but since the flow chart I made for it ended up in a book that I don’t own the copyright to (not a big deal) I’ll write out the decision tree here instead:
1. Someone offers criticism (constructive or not!)
2. Listen and think about it without immediately trying to defend yourself. You can say, “Okay, I need a moment to take that in and think about it because I want to understand it.” Or something else appropriate to the situation. It is okay to ask for time to think in most circumstances. Most people will appreciate that you are thinking about their words instead of immediately getting defensive or counterattacking. Think about whether what they are saying is valid, might be valid or is not valid.
3A. If it is valid, then you have a choice. You can try to fix the behavior or you can acknowledge that it is a valid criticism but decide you aren’t likely to fix it. Start by acknowledging the validity of the criticism, and then say what you’re going to do to fix it, or say that it’s valid but it isn’t something you’re willing (or possibly able) to change, or say that it’s a valid criticism and you’ll need to think about possible solutions. They may have a suggestion. Taking it or not is also a choice.
3B. If you’re not sure it’s valid, but it might be, tell them, “I really need to give this some more thought.” or “Can you tell me more about this? I’m not sure I understand the issue well.” Or “If you can point me at some reading material or search terms, I’d like to study this before I decide what I’m going to do.”
3C. If you know it is not a valid criticism, STOP a moment, and look at WHY they are making it. This is where Active Listening can be very helpful. “I hear you saying that X is a problem. I don’t see it that way right now but I’d like to understand better why you do.” Or if you think they don’t have enough information, “I hear you saying X, but my understanding of the issue is Y. Here’s what I know about it if you’re ready to listen.” If they’re just looking for a fight, tell them you’re not interested in fighting, and disentangle yourself.
4. If the criticism is something you are going to listen to and take action on, tell them what kind of action you’re going to take. If it’s something you’re hearing and thinking about, tell them that. If it’s not something you’re going to do anything about or it’s just wrong, thank them for their input and move on.
Literally never is it going to be helpful to say, “Oh, I’m just a terrible person.” That’s very much like a nonapology-apology in terms of how unhelpful it is to any conversation. It’s kind of worse because it actually expects emotional labor from someone who is already having to bring up something unpleasant with you.
Think about what they say Decide whether you’re going to do something about it Do the thing, or tell them you’re not going to do the thing. Don’t demand emotional labor from other people when you were the one who messed up.
Apologize if appropriate.
This is all predicated on the notion that you’re talking to someone who actually wants to communicate and isn’t just an asshole on the attack.
Because seriously, the whole “I’m a terrible person” thing?
Boring as fuck. Knock that shit off. Maybe you are. Maybe you aren’t. But take responsibility and have a little self-respect and don’t make others pick your emotional dirty towels off the metaphorical bathroom floor.
Zynn's Exodus 