What if Scotty is not actually Scottish, though?
Like, what if his name just happens to be Montgomery Scott, so all of his friends started calling him “Scotty,” and then every time he was introduced to a new person, they would be like “Oh, are you Scottish? My uncle was Scottish!”
And finally, he just gets sick of explaining the situation, so he starts replying with “aye, laddie!” But then it turns out that the person he said that to was Captain Kirk, and he doesn’t want to admit that he lied to his new commanding officer, so he has to keep speaking in a ridiculously over-the-top brogue and commenting constantly on how much he loves drinking Scotch, and by the time that he realises that Kirk would have found humour in the situation, he’s in too deep and can’t stop pretending, and it gradually just becomes his normal speech pattern.
Then, years later, the Enterprise is being inspected by a Starfleet engineer who’s actually Scottish, and Scotty takes him on a walking tour of his warp engines and is all like “Auch! Here be me wee bairns!” and the other engineer is just like “what the fuck is wrong with you?”
I take the fact that James Doohan is Canadian as evidence of this theory.
Scotty hacking into his Starfleet personnel file to alter his place of birth.
Scotty soundproofing his quarters on the Enterprise so that no one can hear him teach himself to play the bagpipes from instructional videos.
Scotty making a great show of taking a shuttle down to Aberdeen to “visit his family” every time the Enterprise is in Earth orbit and then, once on the ground, discreetly site-to-site transporting himself to Vancouver or whatever.
None of these things are out of character or beyond his technical ability.
Yeah, but also in character: Jim Kirk has known since Day 1 that Scotty is not, in fact, Scottish, but is just sitting there waiting to see how far Scotty is willing to go to keep the story going. It started out as an “enough rope” situation but now it’s one of Jim’s greatest ongoing sources of entertainment and he wouldn’t admit at gunpoint that he knows.
Honestly, Kirk would actively claim to have met Scotty’s Extremely Scottish Family/visited them in Aberdeen just to keep it going.
Can you have Cap save baby Magneto?
This actually happened in some of the cartoons! I gasped out loud when I saw it for the first time. (Go to about 10 minutes in for the full scene.) I thought I’d do something a little different, because while I love Erik in the First Class movies, I always wanted a happier ending for him…
The Howling Commandos, as a forward team focused on Hydra, hadn’t liberated many camps; the ones they had were Hydra slave labor camps, where the men were, if not well-fed, then at least not the gaunt, barely-alive prisoners they’d heard about from Red Army soldiers and Allied units.
This camp was different; at the heart of it was some kind of lab. When Steve battered down the last reinforced door, he found a man holding a gun to the head of a young boy.
“I’ll kill him,” the man said. Steve didn’t bother with an answer; the shield took the man’s head off before he could threaten the kid again.
Still, in that second before death, Steve had seen the man’s finger spasm on the trigger, and felt the thickness in the air when the trigger wouldn’t move. He looked at the boy, looked at the body, and had a sense of destiny resettling itself in the world.
“Was he the camp commander?” he asked the boy, who nodded, huge-eyed. “Commander…Shaw?”
The boy nodded again. He turned and pulled Steve’s now bloody shield out of the concrete wall like it was nothing. Then, with narrowed eyes, he floated it across to him, through the air, without touching it.
Steve took the shield out of the air, shook off what he could, put it on his back, and said, “Thank you.”
“My pleasure,” the boy said, in trembling English.
“What’s your name, son?”
“Erik Lensherr.”
Steve had seen a lot of things in the war; nothing like this, but there had been signs of strange experiments in Hydra labs. This was comparatively harmless.
“Well, I’ll make you a deal, Erik,” he said. “I won’t tell what I saw here just now, and you help me close this place down. Then we’ll take you to HQ and get you a hot meal. Sound good?”
Erik nodded, then offered, “They knew you were coming. They destroyed all the records.”
“Doesn’t matter,” Steve said. “Come on.”
In the convoy, bringing the prisoners out of the camp, Steve brought Erik up to the cab of the lead truck, and put him in next to Bucky at the wheel.
“Who’s this?” Bucky asked.
“Erik,” Steve said. “He’s riding with us.”
“Sprichts du English?” Bucky asked.
“Yes,” Erik replied. “I can speak. English, German, Yiddish, some Russian. Good interpreter. I can work for Allies?”
“How old are ya?” Bucky asked.
“Sixteen,” Erik said.
“You are twelve,” Bucky told him.
“I’m just small,” Erik replied.
“Yeah, because you’re twelve,” Bucky insisted. “Well, we’ll make sure the folks handling the refugees take good care of y – “
“No, he’s coming with us,” Steve said.
“What?”
“Erik’s coming with us to HQ. We could use an interpreter. And he’s small enough to make a good spy. He’s had enough of camps, ain’t ya, kid?” he asked, and Erik nodded.
“You wanna join the allies, huh?” Bucky asked.
“I go with Captain America,” Erik announced.
“Yeah, that’s what I said, and now I know better,” Bucky replied, but he was grinning. “Fine, on your own head be it. Sixteen my ass,” he said to Steve.
Steve took off his helmet and plopped it onto Erik’s head. “Sorry, got a new sidekick now,” he told Bucky, who laughed.
Years later, when a magazine asked Erik Lensherr why he agreed to become Captain America after the disappearance of Steve Rogers, he said, “Steve took a terrified twelve-year-old Jewish kid out of a slave labor camp, gave him a helmet, and told him he had power. I believed him. Turns out he was right.”
ALSO IMAGINE MAGNETO AS CAPTAIN AMERICA WITH THE SHIELD. HOLY CRAP. 😀
I had a dream last night that I was writing a sequel to this in which Erik is on the train when they’re going after Zola, and manages to yank Bucky back up into the train by the metal snaps and buckles on his uniform. So Bucky is part of the assault on Schmidt’s fortress, and he and Steve go down in the ice together, and are thus brought out of the ice together in the sixties.
And they’re in a SHIELD conference room waiting to have what the HELL HAPPENED explained to them when they see through the glass wall Captain America and a guy in a blue jacket with a sniper rifle walking through SHIELD, and Steve is like “….TINY ERIK LENSHERR?” and Bucky meanwhile is like “And who the fuck are you?” to the young guy in the blue jacket and Erik’s like “Uhhhh this is my sidekick I’m training, his name is Tony, you may remember his dad…”
Also there was a bit where they went to Westchester and Charles was like “You really should pick a mutant name, all the kids have them and it sets a good example” and Erik’s like
Erik: I’m already Captain America, can’t that be my mutant name?
Charles: It’s your name, Erik, you get to pick it. Please don’t pick Captain America. But I don’t approve mutant names for other people.
Erik: That’s a terrible policy. You let that one kid name himself Asskicker.
Charles: We’re working on it, Bobby has a troubling sense of humor.
Erik: Uh okay lol my name is….MAGNEEEEETOOOOO” *wiggles his fingers menacingly*
Charles: *rubs forehead*DAMMIT
Also I changed Shaw to Schmidt because apparently that was his alias in First Class, and I may wander off into an AU where Johann Schmidt and Karl Schmidt were brothers.
I rewatched bits of First Class for this and I am once more reminded how I would watch an entire movie that was nothing but Erik Lensherr running around the world in a sharp suit fucking up Nazis.
Anyway here’s Wonderwall.
***
Erik had been reasonably well-fed and looked after in Schmidt’s lab, but he hadn’t let his guard down once; the entire time he was there he’d eaten only what he was giving and usually not all of that, never wanting to have indigestion or a full stomach when he didn’t know what would happen from one minute to the next. Schmidt had been…volatile.
But Steve, giant, smiling Steve with his white star and his shield, had killed Schmidt in front of him, unkillable Schmidt. The shield had a strange feel to it; for some reason Schmidt hadn’t been able to absorb its energy the way he had other attacks.
Schmidt was dead and Erik was free, and just from listening to the soldiers Erik could tell the tide of the war was turning.
When they reached HQ, it turned out to be a collection of sturdy tents, and Steve sent Bucky (Erik hadn’t decided whether to trust Bucky yet) off to report to someone. Then he led Erik straight to the mess tent and started piling food on a tray for them both.
“No – that’s got pork,” he said, when Erik reached for the beans. Erik widened his eyes.
“Are you – ?” he asked.
Steve shook his head. “I had friends in the Jewish neighborhoods growing up,” he said. “And the Jewish fellas in the unit talk. You can’t get real Kosher in the army, but don’t eat the beans, they got salt pork in ‘em.”
Erik nodded soberly. He probably would have taken a bullet for Steve Rogers just then.
(There is a readmore below! Read more!)
good job giving them all that money suckers. its almost like this could have be forseen by looking at how the ACLU has approached nazism and white supremacy for the entire history of the organization but that might involve a single critical thought
they also protect rapists. My city was/is threatened with a lawsuit from them cause the city has stricter rules about where rapists/sex offenders can live than the norm and apparently ACLU considers it a violation of the rapists’ rights since effectively they can’t live in the city cause there are so many schools and the school zones overlap.
The funny thing about constitutional rights is that they still apply to terrible people.
Believe me, when constitutional rights are not protected, nazis and rapists are not the ones that suffer the most, its religious and ethnic minorities, LGBTQ people and left wing activists.
But hey, rally against your own rights to punish rapists and nazis, and watch how quickly they’re forgiven and we’re the ones pursued. Happens every single time.
The ACLU isn’t perfect but they’re vital to the US and that this can’t be understood means they either don’t get law or don’t get how law interacts with society.
Legally we need ALL speech free, on a governmental level.
Sorry. It would probably delight Milo Yappyweinerdog to NO end to get some kinda ruling against free speech so the people he is playing troll for could immediate turn around and use it against those they hated. You know…us? At what point do you think “The Government had the right to control what a person can talk about.” is going to work out in the favor of minorities? You know, the Government currently run by Trump? You wanna give him that power so you don’t have to deal with Milo Yappyweinerdog showing up on your facebook feed?
It’s not like that doesn’t mean the rest of us can’t tell him where to shove it.
Re: the ACLU and the rapists, I’m assuming you live in San Diego and you’re talking about the In Re Taylor case.
Here’s the thing: under Megan’s Law, registrants on the 290 registry (”sex offenders”) were barred from 97% of available housing, and the remaining 3% was often not available to them because, understandably, not many private landlords want to rent to people with sex offenses. What that effectively meant is that registrants, including people who were registered for sex work, public indecency or Romeo-and-Juliet violations, were being forced into homelessness by the government. Because if you are on parole and on the registry, you can’t just decide not to live in San Diego. You’re ordered, by the government, to live in the county you’re assigned to until you’re transferred or off parole. If not, you go back to prison.
So what this meant is that San Diego had a huge homeless population of people with sex offense convictions. People who were living on boats – not yachts, but literal canoes – tied to random docks because it was the only place they could live without being thrown back in prison. And you know who suffers from this? Not just the registrants, but the public. Public safety is not enhanced by making people homeless.
People who cannot live anywhere legally will drop off the grid and dodge their supervision. They won’t check in with their parole officers. They won’t bother to follow the law. They’ll commit more crime just to go back to jail so they have a roof over their head and shitty bare-bones medical care. They’ll steal and lie and beg so they can get enough food to fill their stomachs and they’ll get involved in trafficking and drug-dealing and worse just so they’ll be able to rest their head at night.
What the court found in In Re Taylor, which decided the California registration requirements were unconstitutional, was that those registration were putting more people at risk. It put registrants at risk of homelessness and it put the public at risk of registrants breaking supervision and committing survival crime. The ACLU understood that treating everyone with human dignity and freeing people from oppressive government action – even convicted rapists – was in the internet of public safety.
Human rights apply to everyone, even nazis and people convicted of sex offenses. The question should never be “does this person deserve to have their rights taken away?”. The question should be “do we trust the government to take those rights?”. A government with a history of racism, classism and transphobia, with documented history of suppressing leftist voices?
Right now I don’t trust the government with a plastic fork, and neither does the ACLU.
So, my dear friend @ptiko and I have long talked about collaborating on something together. I adore her
artwork so much, I was ecstatic when she said yes to collaborating!I almost cried because it’s so beautifulI couldn’t wait to get working on the colors soon enough because of it!Check out her gorgeous inks here!
Bucky Barnes / Winter Soldier © Marvel Comics
Art © Ptit-Neko [inks] and chinara [colors]omgomgomg <3<3<3. Dear talented @tripletrickster did such a wonderful job with the colors! I’m so happy and proud we
finally got to make a collab.
good one Neil we’re gonna start an interplanetary war after the aliens discover we named their planet Dopey
some stagehand probably: mr. tchaikovsky sir we cant actually hit the drum this hard it will break the instrument
potyr ilyich tchaikovsky, wheeling a cannon into the theater: does it look like i give a fuck, johann
Zynn's Exodus 